


That’s Enough Fucking

by BookWormsAreTheBest



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Coming Out, F/M, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Sort Of, spierfeld, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 08:54:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17722088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookWormsAreTheBest/pseuds/BookWormsAreTheBest
Summary: Simon’s already came out to his parents. Now comes something even harder... them finding out that not only is he gay, he’s DEFINITELY not a virgin either.





	That’s Enough Fucking

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for this in advance.

Simon was having a good day. He was sitting on a stool around the kitchen island with his friends and Bram. They were having a nice chat about life and school and college, and everything was perfect. They were telling stories and jokes. Everyone was getting along. This is how everything should be. He thought. He looked around at Leah and Abby and Nick, his best friends. He looked at Bram, his boyfriend who he loved more than anything. He looked at his parents, who were somehow, somehow, convincing even Garett, the king of cool, that they were cool.

“Oh my goodness, you’re kidding!” Abby laughed at a story Leah was telling about how Nick and Simon had jumped into the vat of hand casting stuff at the Renaissance fair in fourth grade.

“They’re not!” Simon’s mother said, absolutely glowing at the fact she could embarrass her son and almost-son in front of their significant others.

“Oh god.” Simon groaned, glaring at her.

“That’s too good.” Abby snorted.

“Okay, all of you shut up.” Nick said.

Bram and Garett were too busy laughing their heads off to chime in. “Our boys were in such much trouble.” Jack said. “I think Nick’s mother almost murdered him.”

“I think so too.” Nick added.

“There’s more stories where that came from.” Leah said smugly. If she hadn’t witnessed them herself, she had been told ever Spier and Eisner embarrassing story in the history of embarrassing stories- in great detail.

“Oh yes there are.” Emily grinned at Leah. They shared an evil look.  
Nick and Simon shared one of dread. Simon looked at Abby for help, a pleading look in his eyes, and it was apparently enough to get her to change sides.

“Come on Leah.” Abby teased. “Don’t we have anything better to talk about?”

“Nope.” Leah said. “I have ammunition and I’m using it.”

“Hey, I’ve got some stories about you.”

“Pshht, no you don’t.”

“Oh, you think my boyfriend and best friend haven’t told me things?”

Leah’s face fell. “Fuck.”

Abby gave her a maniacal look. “Fuck indeed.”

“Fuck off.”

“Okay, girls, that’s enough fucking.” Jack said. “Wait- no. Nope. That did not come out right. Please ignore that.”

Everybody was sent into hysterics. “Idiot.” Leah snorted.

“Aw come on Leah.” Abby said for the second time that day. “You’re just jealous you’re the only virgin in this room.” Everyone went quiet for a second. It was common knowledge that she and Nick were doing it, and that Garett had lost his virginity when he was FIFTEEN. It was just kind of assumed that Simon and Bram were both virgins, too. They were always such a sweet, gentle couple no one could really imagine them having sex. Except Leah and Abby who had WAY too many details from Simon’s oversharing, but they were the only two that knew.

Simon very slowly raised his head from where it had fallen onto the counter to look at Abby. He and Bram were both bright red. “...Fuck you.” Was all he said. It was silent again, Garett trying and failing not to snort.

Then, all of a sudden, Simon’s mother screeched.

“AHHHHHHH, YES, I KNEW IT. I FUCKING KNEW IT!” She ran over to go hug Simon from behind, standing back and shaking his shoulders as she jumped up and down. Mr. Spier burst out laughing, and everyone soon followed. Then she gave him a final squeeze and ran over to Bram, just about pulling him out of his chain to smother him in hugs and kisses.

“Whaaaaat the fuck.” Whispered Simon, his eyes wide.

“I KNEW IT! I’m SO telling your sisters.”

Jack went over so subdue his wife and Garett looked at Bram with wide eyes. “Dude! Why didn’t you tell me?!” He punched Bram’s shoulder.

Bram sputtered. “Uh... um... well, uh.” He looked at Simon. Simon held his hands up.

Jack cleared his throat to stop them all. “Can I just point out-“ Jack said, “the fact that-“ he looked straight at Bram, “It was SO obvious.... and I’m gunna kill you.” 

And that’s how the day ended with Bram getting chased down the street and tackled by his boyfriend’s dad while Simon and his mother watched and laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> YAYAYAY! Somehow you made it to the end of this fic. Thank you so much for reading and Kudos and comments are always appreciated. Peace out hoes.  
> -BWATB


End file.
